Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
