Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
