my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
