Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Watching her eat just hurts me
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
