thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Alive.
So much puke
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
