I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
