Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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