are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
