the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
