Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
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