he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
