And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
