whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
3pm strippers are depressing
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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