1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
