In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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