So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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