just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
