ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
