i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
