a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
