The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
