We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
