I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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