Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I love having hate sex.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
