I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
