Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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