Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
