Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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