see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
