My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
