But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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