Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
