You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
