Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
