i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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