Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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