Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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