I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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