Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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