It's like God shit irony all over that family
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
