Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
