planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
