I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Of course I have a pirate flag
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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