girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
So many bounce houses so little time
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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