roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
