C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
