what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
