if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
