No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
