Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I have post one night stand depression
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