When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
