Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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