Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
